This is life? No this is Therapy!

Gimme something to breathe
give me a reason to live
close your eyes and see
what you have inside
I think Ive gone insane
I cant remember my own name
I think Ive gone insane

and now the dream is gone and your friend is telling you lies
then you realize
you gonna die anyway
i think Ive gone insane I cant remember my own name
I think Ive gone insane I cant remember my own name
I think Ive gone insane I cant remember my own name
I think Ive gone insane

Lost in a world with no reality
I'm frightened to move I'm frightened to speak
and I would kill for a good nights sleep
I'm feeling Im feeling dead dead dead dead
I think Ive gone insane I cant remember my own name
I think Ive gone insane I cant remember my own name
I think Ive gone insane I cant remember my own name
I think ive gone insane I cant remember my own name
I think ive gone insane I cant remember
I cant remember I cant remember I cant remember

Pieniądze to nie wszystko

Do ideału za daleko
Tysiąc a może więcej lat
Chociaż posuwasz pełną parą
W kieszeni drobny mak

Wielka wygrana ci się marzy
Naiwnie wierzysz w jakiś cud
Ułożyłbyś się nawet z diabłem
Byleby zgarnąć łup

Ref.: Pieniądze jednak to nie wszystko
Choć na nich twardo stoi świat
Liczy się ktoś kto jest wciąż blisko
Nawet gdy forsy brak

Czasami boli egzystencja
I wszystko idzie bardzo źle
Bo trudno nalać do naczynia
Które ma dziurę w dnie

Myślisz że forsa ci załatwi
Kluczyk do złotych raju bram
Tymczasem może się okazać
Że w raju jesteś sam

Ref.: Pieniądze jednak to nie wszystko

Pieniądze jednak to nie wszystko
Choć na nich twardo stoi świat
Liczy się ktoś kto jest wciąż blisko
Tak jak bliźniaczy brat

Push the button

What do we know that we know that we can know?

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.

D. Rumsfeld, February 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing

Pre brunetku

Pre brunetku

niekedy v roku 2002

Čas – čakanie na zázrak?
či na vhodný moment?
Keď všetky hviezdy na nebi budú spievať farbami...
pre naše šťastie?
Život je krásny, ak sa naň pozeráš s láskou v očiach.
Aj to čo nebolo, zrazu je krásne.
Pokoj žiari ako najjasnejšie ráno,
keď rosa zjavila sa na sedmokráskach
a slnečnice žmurkajú v prebúdzaní
obrovskými, žltými mihalnicami.

Zázraky sú všade vôkol,
len ich treba priehršťami
rozdávať...
...chcieť.

Hľadám sa.
Nachádzam svet,
ktorý úsmevom si musím
do ružová prifarbiť.
Inak pohľad bolí...
...bez smiechu v očiach.

Hľadám sa.
Nachádzam nádherné kvieťa.
V osamelosti hľadám;
zjašený behám,
hltám vône sveta.
Zmätený,
popletený,
neistený.
Zaľúbený, s rumencom líc,
pripúšťam...
že triezvosť daroval som...
...slnku v rannej rose rozkvitnutých lupeňov.

Hľadám.
Zmätený a zneistený.
Dieťa kráčajúce prvýkrát...
a bojím sa dotknúť nádhery.
Chcem takto zostať,
veď čas deťom neplynie...

Neha.
Detská ruka na lupeni kvetu,
úsmev na tvári a srdce na dlani.

Kráčajú spolu v hľadaní seba –
svojho večného šťastia...

Don't hold back

don't hold back...
cause you woke up in the mornin, with initiative to move, so why make it harder...
don't hold back...
if you think about it, so many people do, be cool man, look smarter....
don't hold back...
and you shouldnt even care, bout those losers in the air, and their crooked stares...
don't hold back...
cause there's a party over here, so you might as well be here, where the people care...
don't hold back...
...

dont hold back...
if you think about it too much, you may stumble, trip up, fall on your face...
dont hold back...
you think its time you get up, crunch time, like a sit up, come on keep pace...
dont hold back...
put apprehension on the back burner, let it sit, dont even get it lit...
dont hold back...
get involved with the jam, don't be a prick, hot chick, be a dick....
dont hold back...
[Chemical Bros = Galvanize]

Run away from all your boredom

All it takes is one decision
A lot of guts, a little vision...

Grow up

Fears
"She'll only break your heart; it's a fact, and even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her. Ain't love grand?" Nora Dinsmoor

Insecurities
"Seven Years passed, I stopped going to Paradiso Perduto, I stopped painting. I put aside the fantasy and the wealthy, and the heavenly girl who did not want me. None of it would happen to me again. I'd seen through it. I elected to grow up."
Finnegan 'Finn' Bell

Hopes
I did it! I did it! I am a wild success! I sold 'em all, all my paintings. You don't have to be embarrassed by me anymore, I'm rich! Isn't that what you wanted, aren't we happy now. Don't you understand, that everything I do, I do it for you. Anything, that might be special in me, is you. " Finnegan 'Finn' Bell

Fantasies
"Don't you know me at all?. She did know me. And I knew her. I always had. From the first instant. The rest of it. It didn't matter. It was past. It was as if it had never been. There was just my memory of it."

Ain't love grand?

"She'll only break your heart; it's a fact, and even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her. Ain't love grand?" Nora Dinsmoor [Great Expectations, 1998]

What do you want from life?

"Madame de Gaulle was asked after the death of her husband General de Gaulle what she wanted most during the rest of her life. She was asked the question by an English reporter, and so she gave the answer in English: "Happyness". Unfortunately her English accent was rather fractured, and so the assembled throng grasped at what seemed to be remarkable Gallic frankness of what she had just said. Since she failed to pronounce the "h", she appeared to be referring in unambiguous terms to the most distinctive and celebrated part of the male anatomy."

Michael W. Eysenck. Happiness: Facts and Myths. Psychology Press (UK). 1990 p. 1.

Permanent happiness is biologically unattainable

"The brain has evolved a truly vicious set of negative feedback mechanisms.
Their functional effect is to stop us from being truly happy for long.
Nature is cruelly parsimonious with pleasure"[www.biopsychiatry.com]
***
"The night all of my dreams came true, and like all happy endings, it was a tragedy of my device, for I succeeded. I had cut myself loose from Joe, from the past, from the gulf, from poverty. I had invented myself. I'd done it cruelly, but I had done it. I was free!" Finnegan 'Finn' Bell [The Great Expecations]

Illogical and incosistent

Sometimes I walk home through a network of car parks
Just because i can
I love the feeling of being slightly lost
To find new spaces, new routes, new areas
I love the lack of logic
I love the feeling of being slightly lost

Over here it's new, it's now, it's you, it's clean
The beard and lipstick scene
So look beyond Big brother, gossip culture,
So bored of stupidity
The myth of common sense

Around here its hoods up and heads down
Got it the wrong way around
When things get turned around
I slow down
Dream about the notion of the perfect city
Imagine the 19th century never happened
Just a straight run from Beau Brummell to Bauhaus
Dreams never end
This house believes in skyscrapers


I want to know the whole of the city with you
[Saint Etienne - Finisterre]

The dream

Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled

Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she

Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself lost in your lie

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore

It Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool
[Evanescence - Everybody's Fool]

Live alone

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.

Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”- Orson Welles

What's the illusion good for? Temporary lie? Short-term pleasure at the cost of eternity?

The source of all life

"The canvases you're about to see are what l consider to be the apotheosis of every great idea I’ve ever had. [...]
The most powerful force in the universe. The source of all life, pleasure, and beauty.
It’s the closest I’ve ever come to pure universal God force.

The ...

[...]
As l got older, l realized that the truth was to be found only in the ..."

- Neville Morgan (The power of female sex, Sex and the City)

From anticipations to expectations

Chemistry fuels romantic love and infatuation with chemicals
(hormones, just to mention some: Endorphine and Oxytocin) in our brains.
It ends when anticipations become expectations.

Wanting what's not good for me

Why do I consciously want something which is not good for me? Knowing that it is not suitable, but still desiring it? Knowing that if I get it, I will not be satisfied, nor ultimately happy, perhaps even struggling. But still desiring it for the short-term joy, trying to push the long-term into the background.

Oh, god, how I just hate knowing stuff.

The one that makes you laugh

"There is so many god damn gorgeous women out there in the city...
but the thing is this...
after a while you just wanna be with the one that makes you laugh.
You know what I mean?"

[Sex and the City, Season1 Episode 2]

Black and/in White

Je lehká vůně listí
Podzim vzduch je čistý
Kolem procházíš
V okně sedí dítě
Hraje cizí příběh
To zpátky nevrátíš
Jsi jiná než si chtěla
Co šlo to jsi měla
Co teď uděláš?
Už tančí mušky zlaté
Jen někdy štěstí má tě
Možná že to víš
Pálí oheň mráz
Vedle slunce stín
V jednu chvíli
Špatná dobrá zlá
Všechno najednou
Černá v bílý
Mám to před sebou

Pomalu mě míjíš
Nevím jestli vidíš
Že tu stojím sám

Kde jsi pořád byla
Ty holko černá bílá
Asi tě v srdci mám

Pálí oheň mráz
Vedle slunce stín
V jednu chvíli
Špatná dobrá zlá
Všechno najednou
Černá v bílý
Mám to před sebou
(Kollerband - Lehká)

I dont give A...

Not that I wouldn't,
but it is the freedom, the pleasure from purity. When you are thousand meters above the sea level, sitting on a pebble that just got stuck in between two stone walls. And there is nothing bellow, nothing but the fresh breeze and never-ending void.

I have these flashbacks of her scent freeing my soul. Sniffing the air for traces of freedom. Maintaining my integrity has never been that easy, but I give in to the sweet lust of the sight.

Yuri Orlov says:

"The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real."

I'd add that its a trade-off. One has to choose. Do you want a dream or do you want a reality?
I'd go for the reality, if the dream girl happens to be a sexy brunette...

Waiting for what?

We spend our lives waiting...
Waiting for a brunette, and once she comes, waiting for her to leave. Like observers without agency. Scared of our own fears. Living our lives in never-ending loops.
Fearing our own happiness, always wanting more...

Overwhelming Euphoria

The beauty and the beast.

The dream personified, and the drops of alcohol in my veins. Euphoric debilitation. She, the miraculous brunette.

The future is unreachable. The presence is bliss.

Dilemma of a scientist looking at a horse, plow and a plow-boy

Which way does the causality run? Is it the plow pushing the horse or is it the horse pulling the plow? And what if it is a spurious correlation, and it is the person holding the rein that causes the movement of both horse as well as the plow? Or is the plow-boy an antecedent variable that affects the horse which is an independent variable that causes the movement of the plow which is the dependent variable? Or is the plow-boy genuine independent variable that causes both horse as well as plow to move and both horse as well as plow are dependent variables that just covary?

And what if it is actually government subsidies that make plow-boy cause all of the above? Well, that would be a question of level of abstraction, I guess.

Help global textile industry...

Eat one T-shirt a day.

Dreamer

Young boy used to dream about butterflies -
used to dream about the blue sky...
used to dream about peace and love...

Since than many things have changed.
he's hit his head more than once.
passing through the door, bending...

thought he cannot live on his own,
thought he needs somebody to share with,
all his life; to give...

Loneliness is cold.
Loneliness is safe.

Loneliness is FOREVER.